it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
