sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
