Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
He better not be in your backpack
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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