you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
