Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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