Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
