Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
