It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
