I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
