im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
