I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
