now i know why i became what i already was.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
