We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
