Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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