i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
