If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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