I wanna passion pit in your ass
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
