i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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