It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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