I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
