Don't you send me to vm
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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