my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize