Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize