Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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