you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
