WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
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