who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
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driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
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Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
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