your room smells of hookers.
And success
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
