You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
not ubering you a puppy
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