Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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