OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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