bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize
