Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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