she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
