woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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