We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
can u get pink eye on your cock?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
