Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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