You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
