Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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