So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
