Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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