I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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