is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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