Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize