we have pet lesbian snakes
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
