My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
