you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
