OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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