It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
