There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
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