Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
