We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
