did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
