Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
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On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
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Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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