we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
