You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
