Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
You are a genius and a whore.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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