the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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