Dual....:-)
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
