I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
