i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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