We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
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I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
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God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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