So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
where are my eyebrows?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
