a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
