my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
