She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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